AmazingGreis

It hurts…

I sit here staring at the screen. I’m trying to put my innermost thoughts into words. Words that will sum up my feelings. Words that I’m not 100% sure of.

As many of you know it can sometimes be hard to express your feelings on your PUBLIC space. I’m not sure who in my “real” life reads this blog and I definitely don’t want to hurt anyone, especially my friends.

So, I sit here, and continue to stare.

I know exactly what I want to write, but just can’t find the perfect way to say it.

Why do I worry about so many things that I can not change?

Why am I so sensitive?

Why, why, why?

It’s the million dollar question, and I don’t have an answer.

So, I continue to stare and think and run different scenarios through my head.

Each path leading to the same realization.

The realization that these people, my friends, the ones I care most about, they don’t necessarily reciprocate the feeling. And knowing that HURTS. It hurts a LOT more than I think they realize or even understand. And it SUCKS!

I will continue to love my friends today, as I did yesterday.

But I hope that they realize one day I won’t be able to take it anymore.

One day I’m gonna give up.

I’m going to stop trying.

I’m going to stop caring.

I’ll be the best friend that got away.

And that makes it hurt even more.

post signature

Buffer

Posted in: Friends, Real Life

Tags: Feelings, Friends

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 at 12:15 am and is filed under Friends, Real Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

11 Responses to “It hurts…”

Bridget August 19th, 2009 at 8:37 am

I’m right there now, too.
.-= Bridget´s last blog ..Mann Fann =-.

[Reply]

Issa
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
August 19th, 2009 at 10:50 am

Oh honey, I’m sorry. I think that just sucks.

Just know, we’re here for you. Truly. Hugs my beautiful friend.
.-= Issa´s last blog ..Our new normal =-.

[Reply]

MommyGeekology August 19th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

I’m so sorry, because I think I’ve felt what you’re feeling…. I think I may have felt it a little this morning.

It’s tough to be the one who cares the most.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Narcissistic =-.

[Reply]

cindy w
Twitter: poobou
August 19th, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Oh hon, don’t stop trying & don’t stop caring. Yes, it sucks when people hurt us. But you don’t want to be that cold, bitter person either.

Big hugs to you. xoxo
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..chicken curry, British style =-.

[Reply]

Debby Pucci August 19th, 2009 at 2:04 pm

How can I help? ((HUGS))
.-= Debby Pucci´s last blog ..THIS IS FOR KEETHA =-.

[Reply]

Stefanie August 19th, 2009 at 5:00 pm

It does hurt. It makes me feel good to know that I’m not alone in feeling that way sometimes.

I’m sorry that you are experiencing this. I wish I knew how to make it better.
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..It Has To Hurt If It’s To Heal =-.

[Reply]

Amy August 19th, 2009 at 9:39 pm

I’ve been there… sorry Greis. I hope your friends wake up and realize how awesome you are! You are amazing- do not change because of someone else. <3

[Reply]

jessica August 20th, 2009 at 12:29 am

I have let go of all those that don’t reciprocate my feelings of love and friendship. Life is too short. You are worth a lot and people are lucky to have you in their lives, if they don’t know then they don’t deserve you in their lives.
.-= jessica´s last blog ..Ahem, (cough, cough), may I have your attention please? =-.

[Reply]

domestic extraordinaire August 20th, 2009 at 7:49 pm

I totally understand what you are saying. I am truly thankful that you are a friend, albeit a friend that lives entirely too far away, but a friend! Are you sure you don’t want to give snow a chance?
.-= domestic extraordinaire´s last blog ..You Capture-Motion =-.

[Reply]